


the journey and the destination

by bubbleTeaAndHotChocolate



Series: Coffee Shop series [3]
Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, JYJ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - After College/University, Alternate Universe - College/University, First Dates, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Marriage Proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:53:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27509401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubbleTeaAndHotChocolate/pseuds/bubbleTeaAndHotChocolate
Summary: Series of one-shots with alternating POV's, detailing the story of Yunho and Jaejoong's relationship.
Relationships: Jung Yunho (DBSK)/Kim Jaejoong
Series: Coffee Shop series [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1999906
Comments: 5
Kudos: 9





	1. First Date

Chapter 1: First Date

Jaejoong stared at his genetics practice problems, trying to read the question to himself and understand what was going on. A certain percentage of these hypothetical flies were going to have both red eyes and short wings, and he needed to figure that out based on the previous two generations of flies.

His phone rang. Caller ID informed him it was coming from _My Jung Yunho <3 _and he picked up before the first ring even ended.

The person on the other end spoke first. “Hey, how was your exam?”

Jaejoong sighed. “I don’t think it was bad, exactly. I just don’t wanna talk about exams until after they’re graded. How was your day?” Yunho made a pensive sound.

“Good, I just finished with the kids and Sangwoo ordered fried chicken.”

Sangwoo was one of Yunho’s two roommates. Jaejoong shook his head. “One of you should learn how to cook, seriously. Even like two actual meals.”

“Do you want me to try cooking or do you want me to have an apartment to live in? Are you ready for Saturday?”

Their first official date was Saturday. Two days away. “Wow, smooth subject change,” Jaejoong said sarcastically. “I’m ready… tell me what you planned, please.” When Yunho insisted he was paying for the first date on account of Jaejoong confessing first, Jaejoong had set a price limit. In return, Yunho was now insisting on maintaining the element of surprise.

“Hmm. Nope. Just have patience, please,” Yunho teased.

Jaejoong leaned back in his chair, thinking. “At least tell me what I can wear.” He changed tactics. “What if it’s something I don’t like doing? Or food I can’t eat?”

“Dress casually and nice try, but don’t worry. I promise I have it figured out.” Yunho’s voice took on a tone reminiscent of press conferences. “Dinner has arrived. I will be taking no further questions.”

Somewhat pacified, Jaejoong’s voice softened. “Okay, see you Saturday. Good night, Yunho.”

“Good night, Jaejoong.”

On Saturday, Jaejoong forced himself to finish his assignments. He was tutoring some freshmen tomorrow, and Yunho had told him to be ready by four this afternoon for the date. He spent a little too long trying to figure out how to look good and be casual and then told himself to calm down.

So now here he was, meeting Yunho at the front of his apartment in his nicer sneakers, light blue jeans, and a black t-shirt. He was buzzing with excitement. They’d been following their usual routine at the café, avoiding being too couple-y because they were both working. At some point, while putting on lip balm, it had sunk in. Jung Yunho was really his boyfriend, and they were going on a real date.

Yunho greeted him with his cute mini wave, and Jaejoong’s heart did a little flip. They caught the bus and sat with their shoulders and arms pressed together, talking about school, friends, and work. Then Jaejoong got a notification from the café part-timers’ chat. That led to Jaejoong showing Yunho the collection of science memes on his phone. Yunho looked up architecture memes, surprised and delighted to learn that a huge amount of them existed. Then he motioned to Jaejoong that they were getting off at the next stop.

Jaejoong squinted in suspicion. “I know where we are.”

“Hmm, do you now.” Yunho led him off the bus.

He jumped a little in excitement. “Oh my God! It is! It’s the arcade!”

A few months ago, Jaejoong, Jiyeon, and some of their friends were supposed to visit Break Out Games. Half of it was a board game café, and the other half was stuff like air hockey and bowling. Unfortunately, Jaejoong had gotten sick earlier in the week and had to take a makeup shift at the café, so he hadn’t got to go. He’d mentioned it to Sooyoung.

“Sooyoung helped you pick?” He asked, surprised. If this was later on in their relationship, that would’ve been different. But Sooyoung liked making men put in effort for things at first, just to make sure they deserved to be involved with her friends.

Yunho chuckled. “That’s a good friend you’ve got.” He shook his head, bemused. “She told me dating is a test and she wasn’t helping me cheat. Then I told her I found where we’re going for dinner on my own and just wanted help with an actual activity. Also, I said it wasn’t like she was taking the test for me, she was just giving me a study tip.”

“She’s so great,” Jaejoong said, beaming. “Also she’s just making sure you actually try, that’s all.”

“I know,” Yunho responded, grabbing Jaejoong’s hand and pulling him into the building. “Come on.”

They played several rounds of air hockey, until they forgot who had won more games. Jaejoong told Yunho about how his sisters and him used to play it. They used at least three of the pucks at once, a tactic which Yunho was currently describing as free noise pollution.

Jaejoong had a tumultuous history with sports involving balls. He was always open to trying them, but previously he’d been hit in the face with both a soccer ball and a basketball. Bowling with Yunho was different, though. At first, he was just admiring Yunho’s form and in return providing free entertainment to Yunho by resorting to weird bowling techniques, with varying levels of success. So far, the one that was working the best was standing with his legs apart and just rolling the ball with two hands. Yunho laughed at this for a while. Then he came up behind Jaejoong, sliding his arms around his waist and whispering into his ear. “I can show you how to do it right, you know.”

Jaejoong shivered at the sudden closeness, then teased back, his voice a little shaky. “Excuse me, sir. This is a family-friendly establishment.” Yunho snort-laughed into his shoulder and Jaejoong giggled automatically, leaning back into his solid warmth.

 _He does teach it effectively,_ Jaejoong admitted to himself ten minutes later. Yunho’s teaching process involved touching Jaejoong’s arms and hands a lot, which he did not mind at all. And now he was bowling somewhat correctly. They played three more games because Jaejoong was determined to get at least one strike. When he finally got it, he jumped in excitement and then kissed Yunho, catching him by surprise. He kept his arms wrapped around Jaejoong though, so he could pull him in for another, much slower kiss.

Jaejoong pulled away, blushing. There were so many people around them. “There are _families_ here, Jung Yunho,” he whispered in a scandalized tone.

Yunho stuck his tongue out at him. “It’s very dark here… how much are you going to blush if I kiss you at dinner?” Jaejoong flicked his forehead. “Also, uh, one of us set a budget, so we should just play board games until we leave.”

“Alright. Whoever wins rock paper scissors picks the game?”

Yunho won, and picked a deck of cards, which Jaejoong had not seen coming because cards are not a board game. But there were several decks at the café, and Yunho had won, so that was fair.

Both Jaejoong and Yunho could be quite competitive. Despite being honorable in other aspects, they both cheated in the card games. In the end, neither of them minded much, probably because they were resting their shoes against each other under the table. When Jaejoong trailed the toe of his shoe up Yunho’s calf, Yunho leaned forward.

“Can I take you to dinner now?” Jaejoong nodded, and they set off.

Yunho had picked a small Korean barbecue place that he had clearly been to before, since the owner seemed to know him. They sat down in a small, somewhat intimate booth, and Yunho took the menu. He seemed a little bit flustered.

“I know this place isn’t very big, but everything tastes really good. I usually get this when I come with my friends, if you want to take a look,” he said, pointing out a combo special to Jaejoong.

He registered the words “beef bulgogi” and “thin pork belly” and nodded in agreement before smiling at Yunho. “You know I’m not very fancy, right? I’m not from Seoul or a big city or a rich family either.”

“I know, you just… you look expensive. And-” He cut himself off, and Jaejoong had to know what that was about.

“What?” He asked, letting his shoe bump Yunho’s.

Yunho shook his head swiftly, but Jaejoong asked again, and he gave in. “Nothing, it’s just… remember your birthday? When I bought you the macarons?”

Jaejoong blinked, a little confused. “Yeah, why?”

“You were really happy. I… I don’t know how to explain this. I like making you happy, okay?” Yunho looked down, his lips turning up at the corners. Jaejoong barely had time to process this because at that moment, their waiter appeared. After they took Yunho’s order, they brought glasses of water, bowls, and condiments. They would come back in a minute with the side dishes and meat, so Jaejoong started drinking water now. He noticed Yunho watching him, elbow on the table and chin in his hand.

“Ah, see, like that.” Yunho said, still looking at him. The smile was still there, and something in Jaejoong’s chest fluttered.

“What?” He asked, feeling shy. Being the sole focus of Yunho’s attention was… intense.

“You did it again, you put your pinky up when you’re drinking stuff, it makes you look fancy.”

 _Ah, I’ve done it in front of him before?_ Jaejoong thought, busying himself with arranging the side dishes that had just arrived. The fluttering grew at the thought that Yunho noticed it and remembered it. It made him want to fuss over Yunho, take care of him. Besides, Yunho had planned this whole date.

Jaejoong started grilling the meat when it arrived a few minutes later, and Yunho briefly put his hands together as though praying before joining in. Jaejoong swatted him away a little, not sure why this was so important to him. It wasn’t like Yunho was unable to grill for himself.

“Shh, you sit. I’m feeding you. By the way, are you religious?”

Yunho was blushing for some reason. “Alright, alright. Yeah, I am. You?”

Jaejoong shook his head. “Not really, my whole family isn’t.” He picked up some of the meat with his chopsticks and started making a lettuce wrap, trying to ask his next question casually. “Don’t answer if you don’t want, but… your family. Would they be okay? With us?”

Yunho bit his lip and leaned back. “I don’t know, I haven’t told them about… well. I haven’t come out to them, I had no reason to, before.” He smirked, his tone turning teasing. “Why, are you thinking that far ahead already?”

“Shut up,” Jaejoong said quickly, flushing and pretending it was from the grill’s heat. He held out the lettuce wrap. “And open your mouth.”

Yunho leaned forward and accepted the lettuce wrap, closing his eyes and making appreciative noises as he ate. Jaejoong watched him, thinking about what he had said. It was too early to start imagining things, but… he wouldn’t mind more of this, that was for sure. Besides, how did one figure that out? If they wanted a person forever? And… there was something else he worried about. How did you know that they wouldn’t tire of you either?

He could puzzle through that later. Probably after asking the sister that had just gotten married. Yunho opened his eyes and resumed eating. Jaejoong worked his way through his portion of the grilled meat.

“Jaejoong. What’re you thinking about?” Yunho asked, holding a piece of lettuce in his hand. He was looking down, picking toppings to stuff in the lettuce. Some of his hair had fallen into his face.

Jaejoong shook his head to clear it. “Nothing, just overthinking.” Yunho looked up and Jaejoong reached out on reflex, fixing his hair before he realized what he was doing. Yunho smiled, holding out his assembled lettuce wrap.

“For you,” he said, and Jaejoong opened his mouth. Yunho gently stuck the lettuce wrap inside.

Later, when they were on the bus back to Jaejoong’s apartment, Yunho put his head on Jaejoong’s shoulder and he leaned against it a little, thinking about what he should do for their next date. He pulled out his phone and earphones and Yunho stirred, evidently still awake. He held out his hand and Jaejoong obliged, handing him the left earphone.

There was a minute of silence and Jaejoong panicked a little, realizing his playlist had a lot of rock music in it, and they were on a quiet bus at night. It didn’t exactly match the mood.

Yunho shifted and mumbled, “Pick anything, really. I won’t mind.” Then he snuggled into Jaejoong’s shoulder.

_Okay, this is your fault, Yunho._

Yunho jumped a little when the song began, but true to his word, he stayed resting on Jaejoong’s shoulder and didn’t make a single comment, even though the song wasn’t even Korean. Jaejoong felt a burst of warmth in his chest at this and slid his hand into Yunho’s. His long, elegant fingers wrapped around Jaejoong’s immediately and he smiled, pleased.

When the song ended, Yunho squeezed Jaejoong’s hand, moving his thumb along it in thought. “Hmm. Had no idea you liked J-rock.”

“Yeah,” Jaejoong responded, suddenly feeling exposed. He nudged Yunho a little, holding his phone out. “Here, you pick the next one.”

Yunho typed slowly into the search bar, using only one hand so that he could keep holding Jaejoong’s hand with his other one. Jaejoong recognized the song. _Though I Loved You._

It was slow, and sad. He whispered, “Jeez, Yunho, who broke your heart?”

“Nobody, I just like songs like this for some reason,” Yunho said, and Jaejoong marveled for a second at how close they were sitting, and how if he turned his head just a little, Yunho’s hair tickled his lips.

They spent the remainder of the ride like that, alternating songs even though the transition from rock to ballad back to rock again was jarring. He’d learned a lot about both of them today. Yunho liked slow, sad songs, and was good at sports, and wasn’t out to his family yet. And Jaejoong liked feeding him, liked looking up and catching him smiling, liked complaining about school to him, liked making him laugh, liked holding hands with him. Would probably like cuddling with him too.

When they reached Jaejoong’s apartment, he quickly pulled Yunho into a kiss before he lost his nerve. He couldn’t help it. No matter how relaxed he felt around Yunho most of the time, dating still felt a bit like a test he hadn’t studied for.

Yunho was watching him, and now he moved his fingers slowly, stroking along Jaejoong’s waist. “You’re worrying about something, aren’t you?” Jaejoong started shaking his head, but Yunho brought his hand up so he could brush his thumb against Jaejoong’s cheek. Then he leaned forward and gently kissed him on the forehead. “You worry a lot, don’t you? And you don’t tell anyone? Or maybe you do, just not me. I know it’s early to ask, but… I hope you’ll share it with me.” Jaejoong inhaled sharply in surprise.

“A lot if it’s just silly, I don’t know why I do it… I’ll tell you the serious ones…” He trailed off, not sure what to say. He wanted to apologize for overthinking things on a perfect date. He wanted to thank Yunho for… noticing? For understanding?

Yunho held up his pinky. “I won’t make fun, promise.” Jaejoong’s slight frown softened into a smile, and he brought up his own pinky to complete the promise.

He knew he couldn’t know for sure if that was true, or that Yunho wouldn’t find his anxiety burdening in the future, but when Yunho bent a little to kiss their intertwined fingers, eyes closed, well. He couldn’t help melting a little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, they've both sang Though I Loved You! Senior discount if you remember what Jaejoong had Yunho's phone number saved as in real life.


	2. Doubts

Chapter 2: Doubts

Yunho shook himself a little, forcing himself to stop daydreaming. He and Jaejoong had gone on a few more dates, and it was going really well. School had started getting intense again, and between that and work, they often spent time studying together instead of planning actual dates. Last time, they’d went to a library, and Jaejoong had looked so intensely stressed that Yunho had walked over and squeezed his shoulders after he finished his paper model. He’d felt Jaejoong slowly relax as he kneaded the tension out with his hands, and then suddenly he’d gotten up and led Yunho to some deserted shelves, kissing him for ages. He’d started gentle and unbearably slow, and then teased Yunho’s lips with his teeth. When he’d finally licked into Yunho’s mouth, pulling closer as if to savor the taste, Yunho had thought he would collapse.

He couldn’t stop thinking about it now, either. He had still been reeling from the time before that, when Jaejoong went to the animal shelter to volunteer and he’d tagged along. Then Jaejoong had taken him to a bakery and treated him, even though Jaejoong himself didn’t like sweets very much, and Yunho had known it was because he’d told him about his sweet tooth. All of it was making Yunho feel very vulnerable.

His phone buzzed.

_Jaejoongie: I’m really sorry, I can’t come tonight. Have to work._

Yunho frowned a little, then responded. _It’s alright, call you tomorrow?_

_Yeah. Sorry again._

He was supposed to take Jaejoong to the noodle place near his apartment tonight. It was Friday, and he didn’t feel like staying inside, cancelled date or not. He could just go with someone else. Sangwoo was home, and he was always looking for an excuse to get out of cooking.

Almost two hours later, Yunho was walking to the café, takeout bag in hand. If he couldn’t take Jaejoong out tonight, he could at least feed him. Jaejoong had a bad habit of forgetting to eat on busy days when he went from school to one job and then the other. Besides, at this point Yunho had a feel for what kinds of flavors he liked. Jaejoong had an extraordinary memory, and easily remembered things like Yunho’s tea preferences, random details about his friends and family that he had told him about, and facts about buildings Yunho had told him during bus rides. Yunho’s memory, on the other hand, was infamously awful. He even forgot his close friends’ birthdays sometimes. But when Jaejoong remembered small details he had mentioned in passing like that, he felt special and taken care of. So he’d been making an effort to remember these things, even jotting them down in his diary because writing things down helped his memory.

He had also written things he didn’t need anyone else to know, like his observation that Jaejoong smelled like warm spices and sometimes coffee, if he had been in the café long enough. Yunho liked fancy candles so much his friends gave them to him as gifts, and the cinnamon one was reminiscent of Jaejoong now.

The café always looked bright and welcoming at night, and Yunho pushed the door in, scanning for his favorite barista. He didn’t see him though, and locked eyes with Yuri instead.

“Where’s Jaejoong?”

Yuri looked confused, but then she smoothed her features into politeness. “Sorry, he’s not working tonight.”

 _What? Then where is he?_ He nodded, thanking Yuri before turning to leave. From her response, Jaejoong was not scheduled to work tonight. If he had just gotten sick and backed out of a shift, she would have said so. Which meant that… he had lied?

As he walked home, Yunho’s thoughts panic spiraled into all sorts of dark places, but then he pulled himself together. Just because he sometimes thought the fact that Jaejoong liked him was too good to be true didn’t mean that it actually was. Besides, he could waste time here alone worrying and theorizing about why Jaejoong had lied to him and it would do no good. Jaejoong didn’t answer when he called, so he made up his mind to try tomorrow morning. If he didn’t pick up then, he would go to Jaejoong’s place. That was fair, right?

On Saturday morning, Yunho tried calling again, but there was still no answer. When he got to Jaejoong’s place, his roommate let him in. He didn’t know much about Jiyeon besides the fact that she was pre-vet and had gone to high school with Jaejoong. She told him Jaejoong was in his room, pointing it out to Yunho since he had never actually been over. Then she disappeared into her own room.

Yunho paused in front of Jaejoong’s closed door, realizing this would be his first time in Jaejoong’s room. He sighed, wishing it were for a different occasion. But if he went back now, he wouldn’t get any work done today or sleep tonight. Whatever was going on, he needed to know. Right now. Even if he felt a little pathetic.

When he knocked, he couldn’t hear anything besides a soft melody coming from inside the room. He tried the door and it opened for him. At first, he thought Jaejoong wasn’t in the room, but then he noticed the lump in the bed. He was completely covered with his blanket. Besides the boots thrown haphazardly near the bed, the room was as clean and neat as Yunho had imagined it would be, knowing Jaejoong. Yunho sat on the edge of the bed, feeling like he had definitely crossed some sort of line. Maybe even more than one.

Then he recognized the song. It was “Though I Loved You.” The music was coming from Jaejoong’s phone, which was on the nightstand. Yunho reached over and hit pause.

The song was in a playlist titled with his name. Something tugged at his heart, and he tried to push it away. Whatever this was about, Jaejoong had still lied to him last night. “Jaejoong?”

A muffled, sleepy voice rose from the covers. “Yunho? What are you doing here?”

“You lied,” Yunho answered, wanting to say more, but his chest suddenly felt tight. He wanted to see Jaejoong’s face so badly it ached, and remembering yesterday hurt in a whole different way.

Jaejoong shuffled under his blanket, and then Yunho heard what sounded like a sigh. Jaejoong pushed the blanket away from his face and sat up.

Had this been another time, Yunho’s heart would have been sent into overdrive. Jaejoong was wearing a white shirt, with the top few buttons undone, and his face was flushed, and… was he wearing the slightest bit of eyeshadow? The peach-ish color looked nice with his skin, and it highlighted the eyes Yunho loved so much.

Current, upset Yunho realized Jaejoong was hungover. _He went out last night, didn’t he?_

“I’m sorry,” Jaejoong said quietly. “I shouldn’t have lied… I got freaked out and had to cancel, but then I got antsy and-” he winced, probably courtesy of his hangover, “-went out. I just-” he squeezed his eyes shut, then blinked rapidly, so Yunho cut in.

“Why did you cancel? Why didn’t you just tell me? You made me worry…”

Jaejoong groaned a little, then brought his arm up to cover his eyes. “Look, you’re really handsome, and your manners are perfect, and you take care of me so well-” he winced yet again, then let his head hit the wall behind him with a gentle thud, “-you’re so patient, and good at everything, I can’t find a single reason anyone wouldn’t want to be with you…” he trailed off, letting his arm drop but keeping his eyes shut.

Yunho blinked, surprised. He hadn’t seen this coming. And what was Jaejoong talking about, there were tons of things he was bad at, which Jaejoong knew perfectly well. He couldn’t cook, or- that wasn’t the point. He made his voice stern, like he did when chastising kids at the hapkido academy. “Don’t you dare try to flirt your way out of this. Why did you lie to me?” Jaejoong shook his head a little, then gasped in pain.

“I’m not flirting, it’s just… that’s why. I really, really like you, and I got scared yesterday,” he took a deep breath, then finally opened his eyes to look at Yunho. “Ow. I think. I think there’s a lot about me you don’t know yet, and I’m afraid you’ll find out something that’ll be a deal-breaker for you, or something you think is cute or okay now will be annoying later, or that-” he cut himself off, then licked his lips and continued, “-this… us… I don’t want to mess it up, which I know sounds stupid after what I just did, but it’s true, I started overthinking yesterday and cancelled. Because I was afraid I’d start saying this when we were supposed to be on a nice date. I’m sorry for lying, I’m really sorry.”

Yunho was trying to stay upset, but what Jaejoong was saying implied that he… well, that he spent a fair amount of time thinking about their relationship long term, and the idea of that cut Yunho’s breath short. Yunho looked at him again, taking in his messy hair, the eyeshadow, the bit of chest exposed by his shirt. The earring he was wearing, which shocked Yunho. He hadn’t even realized Jaejoong’s ears were pierced until now. He looked striking and a little debauched, attractive in a completely different way than he did normally, and a terrible thought crept into Yunho’s mind. He felt guilty for even thinking it, but if he didn’t ask now, it might haunt him later.

“Last night, when you went out, did you…?” He looked at him, wishing Jaejoong would understand without him having to voice it out loud.

“What?” Jaejoong asked, his voice still quiet.

Yunho sighed, hoping he would just get the answer he wanted. “Did you… kiss anyone else, or…”

“No, no!” Jaejoong burst out before wincing again. “No, Yunho…” He reached out for him, and Yunho came closer. Jaejoong tilted his chin so he could look at him, his thumb brushing the spot Yunho knew his mole was in. His voice had gone soft, the way it did when he whispered on the bus and said things that made Yunho’s heart race when they were out in public. “Yunho… I promise… I know how this sounds, but it’s true. I really don’t have eyes for anyone but you. I just got drunk and danced and sang a little.” He laughed quietly, looking down. “I can’t believe you’d think that, when I can’t even… I can’t stop thinking about you even when I try.”

Suddenly it was too much. Them, sitting on Jaejoong’s bed, with him confessing things like this. If Jaejoong hadn’t been looking so fragile from his hangover, Yunho would be sorely tempted to push him into the bed and kiss him breathless. Still…

Jaejoong must have sensed what he was going to do, because he pressed his finger to Yunho’s lips. “Don’t, I’m gross, haven’t even brushed my teeth yet.”

Yunho leaned in anyway. “Don’t care,” he murmured, kissing Jaejoong’s forehead, then the tip of his nose, then finally, his lips. “Didn’t know you wore earrings,” he added, reaching up to touch the small, golden ornament.

Jaejoong’s voice got small again. “Yeah… don’t usually wear them… people get weird about it sometimes. Makeup, too.” Yunho kissed his cheek, finding the small mole he adored so much.

“Mmm. People are stupid. You look hot.” Jaejoong let out a small giggle, and Yunho’s heart settled. Everything was fine. He just needed to get something straight with Jaejoong. “Tell me next time, okay? No matter what it is. Just don’t lie to me… I worried so much… thought you were mad at me or didn’t want me anymore…” He kissed his cheek again. “I know I’m not perfect. I know you’re human and you’re not perfect either. But… we can talk, don’t… be this proactive and self-sabotage, okay?”

He felt Jaejoong nod. “I’m sorry, again… I won’t do it again, Yunho.” He slid his fingers into Yunho’s hair, stroking lovingly. “I didn’t realize you’d think that… I mean, that’s insane. I don’t think I could just not want you, Jung Yunho.”

Yunho pulled away, feeling mischievous. “What did you say? Say it again, please?” Jaejoong looked down, his hands playing with the bedsheets. “You have to say it again, after how much worrying I did last night,” he teased.

Jaejoong took a deep breath, squeezing the sheets between his hands. “I… I want you, okay? Only you,” he said, looking up.

Yunho took his hand and brought it to his lips. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt this relieved.


	3. Anniversary

Chapter 3: Anniversary

“Yeah, but why does that mean that something is easy? Eating anything when lying down is hard!” Yunho said, waving his hands energetically. Eating _tteokbokki_ had reminded him of the proverb “eating rice cakes while lying down”, which would undoubtedly lead to a discussion about several other proverbs, but Jaejoong had just realized something else he wanted to talk about.

“Jung Yunho. Are you not hungry or something? Why are you eating so slowly?” He teased, pointing with his chopsticks.

Yunho froze. “What? I just did hapkido with a bunch of children, of course I’m hungry! You know how they make me play tag with them while we wait for their parents…” he paused to stuff more food in his mouth to prove his point. Jaejoong was unconvinced.

“No, you’re eating slow… and I know you like this place, but alright, keep your secrets.” Jaejoong had been pacing his eating to Yunho’s as he normally did, so that they would finish around the same time, but tonight it was just not working. At first, he thought maybe he was the one eating slowly, but one look at their plates made it obvious. It appeared that Yunho was… stalling?

Yunho shook his head a little and smiled. “God, you really are so observant,” he said, his voice affectionate.

“That’s a very nice way of putting it! It’s been described in other ways,” Jaejoong remarked casually, reaching over and serving Yunho some of his own food.

Yunho touched Jaejoong’s shoe with his own under the table. “Since you noticed. The faster we eat, the faster we’ll take our walk, the faster our date will be over. It’s our anniversary, and if you remember, we actually spent almost none of that day together, so.” He pouted at Jaejoong cutely.

 _Oh. You don’t know where we’re going after this…_ Jaejoong was possessed by a sudden urge to kiss the pout off of Yunho’s face, but he kept still. “We’re going somewhere else after dinner. So you can stop making that face right now, Yunho.” He smiled at the way his boyfriend immediately brightened.

Yunho was right. Their first kiss had been after midnight, in the first few minutes of February 18th. Then they’d both went home and gone to sleep. Or at least, Jaejoong had. He hadn’t even really dreamed, only thinking of the soft sensation of being hugged by Yunho, enveloped by his fresh scent.

During the bus ride, Yunho kept trying to figure out where Jaejoong was taking him, but he held resolute. He wanted to see Yunho’s face light up in childlike wonder, the way he always did when the food came out at a restaurant, or he saw a fluffy dog, or something cute happened on the show they were watching.

It was worth the wait. When Yunho saw the park, filled with real roses illuminated by hundreds of small LED lights, he gasped and covered his mouth with his hands. Then he crept closer to look, his hands still over his mouth.

“This is so… wow. It’s beautiful,” Yunho said softly, still looking at the roses. “How did they..? And what happens when it rains?” He glanced back at Jaejoong. “You really are a romantic, after all.”

 _I love you,_ Jaejoong thought suddenly, watching Yunho in the sea of brightly glowing flowers. _I want this, with you, Jung Yunho._

He remembered having the thought a few weeks ago. That if they’d continued on the way they were, he could fall in love with Yunho. And now he had, with no idea when he had crossed over that line. Jaejoong had always thought that if he ever fell in love, he’d spend all his time wondering whether the other person wanted him like that, too. But now, holding hands with Yunho as they walked through the garden, he didn’t feel that sort of suspense at all. It felt like… it felt like when they were supposed to meet up somewhere for a date, but he’d gotten there first, happy and excited for what was to come, waiting for Yunho to get there too so they could experience it together.

Jaejoong squeezed Yunho’s hand as they walked, deciding he’d keep his newfound realization a secret for just a little while longer. Every time he looked at Yunho tonight, he felt like he had found something truly precious, something worth holding on to. And sometimes, Yunho caught him looking and smiled back, and Jaejoong couldn’t believe his luck.

When they had circled back through the roses to where they had started, Yunho swung the hand that was holding Jaejoong’s, spinning him around before catching him in his arms. “Let’s walk around for a bit more… don’t wanna leave yet.” Jaejoong kissed him in response, and Yunho sighed against his lips.

Yunho tasted a little like the fried ice cream they’d had for dessert, so Jaejoong kissed him a little longer, letting his fingers tangle in the soft hair he loved so much. “Let’s go be tourists, hmm?” He whispered. They really were in a tourist-y area. There were foreigners posing with the roses. Yunho brushed Jaejoong’s hair from his forehead, kissing him there.

“We’ve only been living here a year, we’re not much better.” he chided. He pulled away, gazing at the night sky. “It’s so weird not seeing stars anymore… I could see them every night back home.”

For the next half hour, they wandered around, telling each other about their hometowns. By the time they reached some street vendors, they’d taught each other a little bit of their dialects.

Also, Jaejoong learned Yunho had a lot of pride in his hometown, and he enjoyed ribbing him about it. Yunho was like a walking encyclopedia of fun facts about Gwangju. Not that he was much better. Gongju was always going to be close to his heart, and he understood how Yunho felt.

A booth selling jewelry caught Jaejoong’s eye, so they went to look. That was another thing. Sometimes, people got weird about Jaejoong wearing bracelets and earrings. He figured this was probably because he was a science major, and the people around him were more conservative about things like that. But Yunho seemed to like that side of him as much as the everyday “professional” side. It made Jaejoong want to dress up for him. Especially because Yunho would always notice when he wore earrings, touching them before kissing his earlobe gently.

Jaejoong admired the rings for a bit before choosing a delicate gold one with flower outlines engraved into it. He was partial to gold colored accessories. Yunho shifted beside him.

“Jaejoong. Can I get one too? We can match.” Jaejoong felt his heart skip a beat. He had never seen Yunho wear jewelry. The only accessory that he could remember Yunho wearing was his grandfather’s watch.

“Are you saying… like couple rings?” He asked. Yunho nodded, looking a little shy. The significance settled into his chest, making him feel warm.

He put the ring he’d been looking at back. Jaejoong guessed it would be better to go with a more plain, simple ring, as it was probably Yunho’s first.

The vendor spoke up. “I have a set here you might like.” They pointed to a silver set of bands that seemed interlocked. “One ring fits inside the other.” Jaejoong looked at Yunho for approval, his heart pounding.

Yunho looked at the rings, then smiled at Jaejoong. “Do you like them?” Jaejoong nodded wordlessly. “Okay. I’ll pay- don’t argue, shhh.”

After he paid, Yunho slid the rings apart, then put one on Jaejoong’s finger. Shaking a little, Jaejoong did the same for Yunho. They held their hands next to each other, admiring how the moonlight struck the silver and made it glow.

“Does it feel cold?” Jaejoong asked softly, still processing what had just happened.

Yunho curled his fingers into a fist, then released them. “A little.” He let out a contented sigh, then held his hand out. “Take me home, will you, Jaejoong?”

And so he did. When Jaejoong shivered on the bus, Yunho held out his hand to warm his, and Jaejoong thought his heart might burst from happiness.

_Happy anniversary, Yunho. I love you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The LED rose garden is a real thing in Seoul! Although I think it's been closed down? Also, of course there are couple rings.


	4. Feverish

Chapter 4: Feverish

Jiyeon let Yunho into the apartment, holding her finger to her lips. “Stay quiet, he’s sleeping.” Then she slid past him, heading out to study.

Yunho felt weird, like he was sneaking around somebody else’s place. Which he kind of was, but he wasn’t stealing anything, and he was allowed to be here. Jaejoong had gotten sick, and Yunho was just going to check on him, since he didn’t have to go to work for another few hours. Last time Yunho was sick, Jaejoong had shown up between job shifts and cooked soup for him, then helped him study a bit at his request before forcing him to sleep. When he had woken up, Jaejoong was gone, but he’d left a note and Yunho had noticed his apartment was a little cleaner. Jaejoong had even left the mess of his modeling stuff alone, knowing Yunho was working on it.

Every time he thought of that day, Yunho felt a sweet, tender sort of happiness he wasn’t sure he’d ever experienced before. Jaejoong liked something about him enough to take care of him like this, and Yunho wanted to take care of him, too. Indefinitely. Was that love?

Yunho couldn’t cook, but he did know which noodle place Jaejoong liked. He put the noodle soup he had bought in the fridge, figuring he’d heat it up for Jaejoong when he woke up. Then he quietly opened Jaejoong’s bedroom door. Jaejoong was a heavy sleeper, but still.

There were used tissues collected on the floor next to Jaejoong’s bed, which Yunho knew would drive him insane once he was conscious enough to notice. He bent down, gingerly picked them up by their unused corners, and threw them away. Then he looked at Jaejoong, lying with the covers pulled up to his neck, his skin a little clammy, but otherwise peacefully asleep.

Yunho was pretty sure finding Jaejoong beautiful even like this might be love, too. He sat down carefully in Jaejoong’s desk chair and pulled out his urban design textbook, settling in to study. Occasionally, he’d look over at Jaejoong, trying to push away thoughts of how this almost felt like they lived together. It was too early, right? They were only twenty-one, with no idea of where they would get jobs after they graduated. He was a bit disorganized for Jaejoong’s taste, and Jaejoong was set in certain routines, while he himself was spontaneous. Who knew what working full-time would do to their temperaments, either. But last week, they’d watched a movie together at Yunho’s apartment, and Yunho was pretty sure he couldn’t go back to watching movies without Jaejoong’s actor impressions and commentary on continuity errors ever again. Then Yunho found himself constantly wanting more movie nights with Jaejoong, more coming home to ask him about his day and tell him about his, and the fact had gotten lodged in Yunho heart: he absolutely intended to live with Jaejoong when the time came.

The sheets moved. Jaejoong was waking up. He rubbed his eyes, then sat up a little, blinking cutely. Yunho smiled at him. _Good morning, love._

When Jaejoong caught sight of Yunho, he immediately dove back under the covers, his movement hindered a little by fever-induced weakness. Yunho burst out laughing, shaking him through the comforter. “Oh, come on Jaejoong, I know you’re sick… you’ve seen me sick!”

“Different. And I’m gross right now,” Jaejoong mumbled petulantly, his voice muffled by the layers of fabric between them.

Yunho sat down on the edge of the bed. “You know I already saw you, right? And I brought you soup. Please?” He coaxed gently. If Jaejoong persisted, he’d give in, but he really wanted to see him. Wanted to ruffle his hair and kiss his forehead, but he’d settle for just looking.

Jaejoong had a stubborn complex about looking presentable, but he gave in today. He pushed the covers off of his face and sat up. “Thank you,” he said quietly. “Missed you. How long were you here?” He spoke slowly, fighting his fatigue.

Something in his tone tugged at Yunho. “Not that long. Do you want your soup?” Jaejoong nodded, then leaned back into his pillows.

A few minutes later, Yunho’s heart was doing happy little skips at how Jaejoong was curled up in bed with the soup, the steam rising into his face. His face lit up when he recognized where the noodles were from, too.

He thought he might crawl into bed with Jaejoong if he didn’t say something soon, sweat and illness be damned. “I wish I could cook for you… do you feel better?”

Jaejoong swallowed, then looked at Yunho, speaking carefully. “Yeah, I’ll be fine tomorrow, I think. And… don’t feel bad… you take care of me, anyway. I love these.” He paused to eat some more. “Thank you so much, really. You’re the best, Yunho,” he said shyly.

Yunho felt like he’d won some sort of award, and now he felt shy too. He tried to think of something else to say. “Shh, all I did was buy you soup.” His eyes landed on Jaejoong’s nightstand. His phone was on it, charging. “Do you remember the first time I came in here?”

Jaejoong looked up from his noodles, thinking. Then his eyes widened. “Oh no… it was after I-”

“Shh, it’s okay, I really did forgive you, you know.” Jaejoong relaxed, and Yunho wanted to hug him. He hadn’t realized Jaejoong still felt so bad about that. “When I came in, you had a playlist on… it was named after me.”

Jaejoong froze, blushing furiously and suddenly avoiding Yunho’s gaze. Then he quickly resumed eating, probably to stall on answering the question Yunho hadn’t actually asked. Yunho hadn’t realized how intrusive this might be, he’d just been curious.

“You don’t have to answer that,” he continued, his voice light. Jaejoong shook his head a little.

“No, I will, I’m just getting sleepy again so I want to finish.” He picked up more noodles with his chopsticks. Even sick, he ate so neatly. When he finished the noodle soup, Yunho took his empty bowl to the sink. He came back to find Jaejoong snuggled under the covers again.

He could get the answer later, Jaejoong seemed exhausted. He walked closer, wanting to tuck him in, but Jaejoong started talking, even though his eyes were half closed.

“It reminds me of you… all the sad songs you like so much.” Yunho’s jaw dropped a little in astonishment, and Jaejoong kept going drowsily. “Helps me sleep.”

_Oh. He remembers all the songs and… oh, Jaejoong…_

He knew how bad Jaejoong’s insomnia could get. Jaejoong never bothered him with it late at night when it was actually happening, but he’d told him stories. He’d pace around restlessly sometimes, and sometimes even drank to fall asleep.

_Someday, Kim Jaejoong. If you’ll let me, we’ll sleep in the same bed together, and I’ll hold you until you fall asleep._

He tucked Jaejoong in, kissing his forehead, then paused beside the door to look at him again one last time.

And Jaejoong mumbled into his pillow, so quietly Yunho almost missed it. “Mmm. Love you.”

Yunho went home in a daze, replaying that moment in his mind for the rest of the day.

The next time Yunho went to Moldir Café, Jaejoong reheated his tea as he always did, and he felt so warm and happy that the words slipped out easily, as though he had said them hundreds of times. “I love you, Jaejoong.”

The confession wavered in the air between them, and Yunho realized vaguely that he was holding his breath. Then Jaejoong went to him, kissing him in front of the customers and his coworkers.

And between each kiss, he whispered, “I love you, Yunho,” against his lips, his voice soft and breathless.


	5. Breakdown

Chapter 6: Breakdown

“What’s wrong, love? Do I have something on my face?” Yunho asked, shattering Jaejoong’s train of thought.

He shook his head, reaching up to brush the mole next to Yunho’s lip with his thumb before kissing him. There was no need to pause the TV show because a bunch of random worries were jumbled up inside of him.

But this was their third year together, and Yunho knew him inside and out. Jaejoong wondered how Yunho knew something about him that he didn’t even know himself. He had no idea what his tell was, just that because of it, Yunho always knew when he was nervous. He paused the show, looking at Jaejoong expectantly.

“I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t want to know,” Yunho reminded him softly.

Another thing Yunho now knew how to do well: get Jaejoong to ramble about whatever he was worrying about at the moment.

“My sister just broke up with her boyfriend,” he started, unsure of how to proceed. He didn’t really know why it was making him worry about him and Yunho, it just was. “They were together for like two years. He cheated on her. She said he told her it was because she’d changed too much, and was too busy with work… I don’t know. Two years isn’t short, it just doesn’t make sense to give that up because of that.” Yunho didn’t say anything, just put his arm around Jaejoong to pull him close.

“I just didn’t see it coming, and she didn’t either. That’s scary… and… just, how do you _know_ these things, you don’t, and, well. You’re graduating this year, and architecture is seriously competitive, you might have to move. Like, out of Seoul.”

Yunho shifted a little, thinking. “During my internship. You never worried that I was cheating on you, did you?”

Last summer, Yunho had interned in Busan, and Jaejoong had done research at the university. The three months with almost no physical contact had been a little challenging, but Yunho was right. Not once had Jaejoong seriously entertained the thought that he had cheated.

He continued, “I worry too, you know. Not that you’ll cheat, but that one of us… or even both of us, would change and we’d become incompatible, or something. Because that is something that could happen if we live in different places for a while. Look, I…” He took Jaejoong’s hand, bringing it to his lips so he could kiss the silver band on its ring finger, “I don’t know the future either, but I promise we’ll figure it out. You’re worth that, to me.”

 _He worries, too? But he never…_ Jaejoong didn’t have to ask. He knew why Yunho hadn’t brought this up before. People might say Jaejoong kept his worries to himself, but that wasn’t true. He just repressed them. Then he either resolved them, or they burst out of him at a random moment. Usually the explosion happened when he was with someone he trusted, or the stress accumulated to unbearable levels. But Yunho truly did keep his insecurities to himself, not telling a single person, ever, and dealing with them on his own. Jaejoong knew, because he knew Yunho worried about being able to find a job, about excelling in his program, about how his parents might not approve of him being in love with a man, even though Yunho hadn’t really said anything about it.

Jaejoong also knew that sometimes, Yunho kept his worries to himself because he believed Jaejoong was already stressed enough. This fact, along with countless others, such as the fact that Yunho made special effort to remember what things Jaejoong liked, that he tried to keep up with Jaejoong’s texting even though he hated texting, that he spent too much time at school because he got caught up helping younger students with their projects, belonged in a large space of Jaejoong’s brain labelled _Reasons I love Jung Yunho._

He turned to Yunho, who was still watching him, his brows knitted together with worry, and he felt his heart melt. He kissed his forehead, smoothing it out. “You’re worth it for me, too,” he murmured, kissing his other confession into Yunho’s skin. “I love you, so much.”

When he pulled away, Yunho was smiling, and Jaejoong traced his lips with his finger, entranced. “God, I really do never get tired of your smile… you’re gorgeous, did you know?”

Yunho leaned forward, kissing the finger Jaejoong was touching his lips with, shoving him lightly so he’d lie down on the sofa. “Really, now.” He mouthed at Jaejoong’s neck, sliding his hand under his shirt so he could feel his heartbeat. “You are so hot, my little worrywart… can’t believe you’re mine…”

Jaejoong moaned, arching into the touch. “Mmm… again, like that, please… oh, I am yours… oh, _Yunho._ ”

Yunho paused, reaching up to place a chaste kiss on Jaejoong’s cheek. “I’m yours, too. You’re it for me, Kim Jaejoong.”


	6. Distance

Chapter 7: Distance

Yunho looked around his living room, wondering if he had missed something. He had spent the morning vacuuming, organizing, and generally cleaning his small apartment. It needed to be spotless for when Jaejoong got here.

He had graduated a year ago and gotten a job in Daegu, with the option to transfer in two years if everything went well. Which meant that he had only seen Jaejoong through FaceTime calls for the past month. It was frustrating, with him working all the time and Jaejoong balancing school and two part-time jobs, but they talked in some way every day. How had people survived long-distance relationships in the past? Letters were romantic, but they took forever to reach their destination, and video calling really was the closest one could get to seeing someone face-to-face.

There was one con to modern technology, though. Now that he was graduated with a good job, his parents really wanted him to get married and bring them grandkids. Social media allowed them to scour his pictures of coworker hangouts, trying to ask him not so subtly if any of the women he worked with were single. At least his little sister, Jihye, knew about Jaejoong. She didn’t get why it wouldn’t be fine if they just got married and adopted kids. Not that they could really get _married_ married, it wasn’t legal here. But still. Sometimes Yunho didn’t get what the big deal was, either. That made him think maybe his parents would understand, but he didn’t want to hope for too much. He had asked Jaejoong how he’d come out to his family, but apparently it hadn’t been as mind-blowing for them. Half his sisters had already extrapolated the fact from his crushes on various male celebrities.

Yunho laughed a little to himself, imagining cute little teenaged Jaejoong sitting at the dinner table, worried about how his family would react when most of them already knew. This wasn’t a biased fantasy. He’d seen some pictures of Jaejoong when he was younger. The love of his life had been positively adorable as a child, with his big wide eyes and fluffy black hair. Like a small kitten.

In about twenty minutes, Jaejoong would get here and Yunho wouldn’t have to imagine him at all, the adult version or the child one. He hadn’t figured out exactly what they would do today. Eat lunch somewhere, obviously, and then Yunho could take him out. After months apart, all he wanted was the simple pleasure of walking around holding Jaejoong’s hand. It didn’t matter where.

When Yunho let Jaejoong into the apartment, he set his bag down and immediately pulled Yunho into a hug. They stayed like that for a few minutes, Jaejoong nuzzling Yunho’s shoulder while he stroked his hair. Yunho inhaled deeply, letting himself get utterly lost in Jaejoong’s lovely cinnamon scent. Then he kissed him, sliding his arms around that tiny waist, trying to tell him everything he wanted to say. _I missed you so much. You feel so good. I love you._

They pulled apart, and Yunho briefly forgot what he was going to say, distracted by the flush spreading through Jaejoong’s cheeks and his delighted smile. “Um. Do you want to rest a little, or eat lunch, or-”

Jaejoong cut him off with a kiss, and Yunho’s eyes stayed shut even after he pulled away. “Lunch, please. Gonna put my stuff away,” he answered, before kissing the tip of Yunho’s nose. Then he looked at the apartment.

One time, Yunho had accidentally called Jaejoong _love_ in front of his friends, at karaoke. He was a bit of a lightweight, and after just one drink it had just slipped out. In return, his friends had teased him, asking what cute nickname Jaejoong had for him. The truth was, Jaejoong didn’t have a special name for Yunho. He just said his given name with so much affection that sometimes it felt like a kiss. And he was doing it now, as he took a step forward in shock, squinting around at the apartment. “Yunho. Yunho, your apartment is… so clean,” he said slowly, and Yunho smiled.

He hugged Jaejoong from the back, looking around with him. “Yeah… cleaned it extra because of you.” Jaejoong giggled, and Yunho hugged him tighter, feeling the sound reverberate through his body.

An hour and a half later, they were wandering the area near Yunho’s apartment, full of fried rice and talking about the changes made to the university after Yunho’s graduation. Apparently, printing on campus was now free. Suddenly, Jaejoong stopped, looking at something in the distance. Yunho followed his gaze. It was a park.

“I loved swings when I was little,” Jaejoong mused, clearly thinking about some hazy childhood memory from back home.

Yunho had, too. But Yunho had liked all manners of sports growing up, from hapkido and taekwondo to soccer and roller skating. It was Jaejoong who was both a bit clumsy and skittish about sports, especially when they involved balls. Yunho elbowed him. “Well, do you still like them?”

They played around for a good while after that, first trying out the swings and then trying to play tag with only two people. Apparently, what Jaejoong lacked in coordinated athletic ability he made up for with raw strength and a complete lack of fear. After he got tired of running around escaping Yunho, he simply lifted himself onto the playground equipment itself, climbing all the way up and sitting on the little roof.

Yunho stopped chasing him in favor of staring at him in awe. “Oh my God, you could fall… do you have no fear of heights?!” Jaejoong gave him a quick peace sign, as though he wasn’t both 15 feet off the ground and sitting on something not made for sitting on. The plastic roof was _sloped_ for heaven’s sake, he could just fall off.

“Take my picture, Yunho!” He yelled, completely unaware of how Yunho’s heart was currently in his throat.

Yunho took his phone out and obliged. Then Jaejoong made him catch him as he slid off the roof, but only after proclaiming that he could definitely get down by himself, he just wanted Yunho to catch him.

“Let’s go home, I have to study but then I’ll make you dinner,” Jaejoong said, tugging at Yunho’s hand. He felt warm at Jaejoong calling his apartment home even though they didn’t live together. Yet.

Then he remembered something. “Stop, we have to turn around.” Jaejoong looked at him, confused. “I… may not have a lot of groceries, we have to get some if you want to cook.”

Jaejoong smiled, teasing. “Ah, you focused too much on the cleaning, didn’t you?” Yunho looked away, feeling sheepish. He wasn’t exactly wrong.

One grocery trip and one study session later, Jaejoong was in Yunho’s kitchen cooking _samgyetang._ Yunho leaned against the counter, observing Jaejoong at the stove. Having cut vegetables as instructed, he was now pretty much useless. He didn’t mind, though. Something about watching Jaejoong move around his apartment as though he lived here, even though he had only been in it once before, was quite soothing to him. _One more year,_ he thought to himself. One more year, and he would move back to Seoul, where Jaejoong would be working too, and they could live together for real.

He put his head on Jaejoong’s shoulder, hugging him carefully so he didn’t disrupt the cooking. “I missed your cooking, love,” he murmured, ruffling Jaejoong’s hair with his nose. Then he released his arms, knowing he didn’t like to be distracted when making food.

But Jaejoong stopped him, grabbing his arms to pull them around himself. “Stay here. Missed you.”

They stayed like that until dinner was ready, and then Jaejoong fussed around setting up bowls and utensils like he always did. When Yunho came back from the fridge with drinks, he sat down and put his hands together to pray. To his surprise, Jaejoong did it too. Yunho puzzled over this in his mind as he took his first bite.

Then he promptly lost all thought and sensation besides a burning in his mouth. He started coughing and reached for his water, downing it quickly. The burning subsided a little, but his face still felt warm. Jaejoong handed him his own water. Then he got up, heading to the kitchen for more water. He handed Yunho that too, sitting down right next to him.

“I switched our bowls! Oh my God, are you okay?” Yunho nodded weakly. He’d known Jaejoong liked really spicy food, but this was… was he sure he was dating a human?

Jaejoong was biting his lip, and Yunho couldn’t help it. He started laughing. “God, your face! You looked like I was poisoned!” Jaejoong flicked his forehead and started laughing too.

“I thought I ruined the whole dish! After not cooking for you in forever! You reacted so fast, too… I’m so sorry, it was really spicy, wasn’t it?” He started to go back to his spot, but Yunho pulled him back down.

He’d noticed the earring when they were eating lunch, but Jaejoong had been sitting too far from him then. It had caught the light just now, as he looked suspiciously from Yunho to his food, realizing what he had done. Yunho touched the golden stud lightly, then kissed Jaejoong’s earlobe. He pulled away so Jaejoong could go back to his spot. But Jaejoong didn’t get up.

“You noticed,” Jaejoong said softly, sliding his hands into Yunho’s hair. “I love how you always notice.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The idea came from that one Japanese interview where Yunho talks about eating Jaejoong's food and spitting it out because it's too spicy lol


	7. Family

Chapter 8: Family

Jaejoong squeezed Yunho’s hand, trying to soothe him. “You’ve met most of them already. Trust me, Yunho.”

A very nervous Yunho squeezed his hand back. “I know, and your family seems very nice, it’s just… I don’t even know why, I’m more scared than I was in qualification exams.”

Christmas was on a Monday this year, so both Jaejoong and Yunho had a 3-day weekend off work. For the first time in a while, Jaejoong’s whole family would be able to meet up in Gongju, and he wanted Yunho to meet them.

Understandably, Yunho was stressed about making a good impression. Meeting some of Jaejoong’s sisters during the 4 years they’d been together was one thing. This involved parents, and the whole family together. Jaejoong couldn’t even reassure him properly. It wasn’t as though he had been through the same thing. Yunho’s parents hadn’t disowned him when he told them he had a boyfriend, but they hadn’t fully accepted it yet either. Until they did, Yunho refused to let them near Jaejoong. Some of their friends had said maybe meeting Jaejoong would help, but Yunho wasn’t willing to risk them getting mad at him, too. He wouldn’t even tell them Jaejoong’s name until he was sure they would treat him respectfully.

Yunho’s protective instinct regarding this made Jaejoong feel warm and safe, but it also made him want to make up for it somehow. He knew feeling accepted by Jaejoong’s family would help a little, and besides, they really did like him. “Yunho. They’ll love you, I know they will.” He took a deep breath, feeling a little vulnerable. “They’ll love you, because I love you.”

“I love you, too. And… I’m so glad you have them.” He tilted his head until it rested on Jaejoong’s shoulder, and Jaejoong knew he was about to fall asleep. “Also, there will be food either way.”

By the time they got off the train and walked to Jaejoong’s childhood home, most of his family was already there. The most efficient way for them to get to Gongju was to go separately, Jaejoong from Seoul and Yunho from Daegu. But Jaejoong wanted them to do this together, so he’d went to Daegu after work Friday and they’d taken the train together on Saturday morning. Most of his sisters and their families had arrived last night, as they were going to stay with friends since everyone wasn’t going to fit in his parents’ home.

Once they entered the house, a handful of Jaejoong’s sisters pulled him into a group hug. Then they saw Yunho standing to the side and pulled him in too. As they went to the living room to eat, Jaejoong remembered how disorienting and loud his family could be. Mainly because apparently, they were trying to be quieter for Yunho. When their group entered, the whole room went silent, and Yunho bowed to Jaejoong’s parents, addressing them as formally as he could. He was formal with everyone, even the _noonas_ he’d met before. Even now, every time they went out and Yunho held everyone at arm’s distance with his politeness, Jaejoong felt special and precious. Like Yunho’s fun and teasing side was something he had earned, something only for him and the other people Yunho truly loved.

Minkyung noona and Sooyoung noona had talked to Yunho the most before this, so they sat with him and Jaejoong, helping him introduce Yunho to the rest of the family. After a few minutes of this, everyone split off into their own conversation topics as usual, as though this was sufficient and Yunho was now just a regular member of the family. When he started to serve Yunho food, Minkyung noona reached out for the plate and did it instead, smiling at him the way she had when Jaejoong was young and too small to reach everything, and Jaejoong’s heart warmed.

His 5-year old niece Seohyun came over to sit next to him, and he moved to make room for her. Her cousins would probably come over soon too. Jaejoong sighed as he ate, utterly content. When he was home, his parents and sisters spoiled him, and he spoiled his nieces and nephews, and then everyone turned around taking care of someone else, like their family was just a big circle of love. A very loud, sometimes arguing circle of love, but his favorite place to be, nonetheless.

Halfway through a discussion about rent in the different cities him and his sisters lived in, Jaejoong realized Seohyun wasn’t sitting next to him anymore. He was now feeding dumplings to her slightly older cousin Hyunah, who had taken her spot. He looked around for a few seconds before finding Seohyun on Yunho’s other side. She’d brought her plate over and Yunho was serving her side dishes at her polite request, even baby talking her a little. The sight melted Jaejoong’s heart. _What a cute picture._

Seohyun’s curious voice broke into Jaejoong’s thoughts. “Uncle, what’s your job? Do you have a job?”

Jaejoong froze. Clearly Sooyoung noona, and possibly others, had told Seohyun to call Yunho _uncle._ Not _oppa,_ not _ahjusshi,_ but _uncle,_ the way that they called Jaejoong uncle. He smiled, chewing as he thought. So what if the country wouldn’t technically let them get married? His sisters had apparently just gone ahead with it themselves.

Usually when kids asked Jaejoong his job, he just said he was basically a doctor for animals. Yunho worked in a whole other field. “I’m an architect. I help make really big buildings.”

“Ar-ki-tect,” Seohyun mumbled to herself, sounding out the word. “So you don’t fix animals like Jaejoong uncle?” That was the other issue, Jaejoong thought wryly. Most kids didn’t find buildings as interesting as animals.

“No, no I don’t,” Yunho murmured, sounding fond. “Your Jaejoongie uncle is special. But I can make a house of cards.” Seohyun hummed in interest, then kept eating. Hyunah leaned back so she could talk behind Jaejoong.

“Yunho uncle, how come you’re so much taller than Jaejoong uncle?” Jaejoong started, surprised. _It’s only four centimeters!_

A short laugh burst out of Yunho. Then he was completely back in control of his face. “I don’t know… I think Jaejoong uncle worries about feeding me so much he doesn’t eat enough himself.”

Hyunah accepted this. “Maybe. Will uncle make me a house of cards? I have some.”

Now Yunho leaned back so he could talk behind Jaejoong. “Sure!”

Momentarily satisfied, the kids turned back to their food, and Yunho reached over, squeezing Jaejoong’s thigh. “I think they like me,” he said, sounding pleased. Jaejoong nodded in agreement, holding out a dumpling for him. “Jaejoong _uncle,_ you have to stop giving me your food if you want to get taller,” Yunho teased, opening his mouth to accept it anyway. Then his eyes shifted, looking somewhere behind Jaejoong intently.

“What is it?” Jaejoong asked, not wanting to turn away from Yunho.

Yunho smiled. “She’s copying you… oh, how precious.” And he was right. Jaejoong swiveled his head around, catching a glimpse of Hyunah feeding a dumpling to her mom. Circle of love indeed.

As it turned out, Yunho was quite good at making houses of cards. Too good, maybe. Currently, the structure was almost as tall as Seohyun, and not showing any signs of folding. Seohyun herself was with all her siblings and cousins, hiding behind Jaejoong with their hands over their mouths for fear that they’d accidentally knock it over. With everyone maintaining a radius of several feet from Yunho and the tense atmosphere in the room, it felt like Yunho was diffusing a bomb.

Yunho rubbed the back of his neck. “Um, I think everyone wants to play cards now… we can take a picture with it and then you guys can knock it down…”

The kids tried to protest, having learned that Yunho might give in if they all pressured him, but Sooyoung noona stepped in. “Alright, say thank you to uncle, and then turn around so I can take this.” She pulled out her phone, taking a few seconds to angle it so the cards and everyone involved would be in the shot.

“You’re a very loved uncle,” Yunho commented later, as Jaejoong took him to his childhood bedroom. After several rounds of card games with the family, all the married sisters had taken their families to where they’d arranged to spend the night, leaving only the unmarried people and Jaejoong’s parents to sleep at the house.

Jaejoong opened his bag, looking for his pajamas and toothbrush. “You’re on your way to becoming a very loved uncle, too,” he responded carefully. Yunho slid his arms around Jaejoong’s waist, pulling him so his back was against Yunho’s chest.

“I’d like that,” he said quietly. “If you’ll have me, I’d like that a lot.”

Jaejoong turned around in his arms so he could hug him tight. “I’ll absolutely have you, Yunho.”

They got changed, brushed their teeth, and got into bed. Yunho was looking around at the posters and pictures Jaejoong had on his walls. There were a lot of pictures of singers, and him with his family. Jaejoong elbowed him a little under the covers. “You can make fun of my celebrity crushes now. I would.”

Yunho chuckled a little, turning on his side to face Jaejoong. “Not going to,” he said, reaching out to brush his thumb against Jaejoong’s cheek. His mind was clearly somewhere else, and Jaejoong had a good idea of where this was going. “It’s not fair game… since you might never see my room.”

Jaejoong stayed quiet. He never knew what to do when Yunho talked about this, because he knew he’d never be able to understand. For him, his family was a source of simple, lasting love. Even if extended family acted weird about him, it didn’t matter. The people he loved had his back. So he just hoped listening and being there for Yunho would be enough.

Yunho sighed. “I love them, and I wish they loved all of me, and… today, when your family liked me, I felt proud of myself. And you looked so happy when they said nice things about me. I want to, you know. I want to show you off to people, too.” The corners of his lips turned up just a little. “I want to be like, yeah, he’s smart, and he’s handsome, and he’s sweet, and he’s mine.”

“They like you a lot, seriously. You’re very charming, you know,” Jaejoong said, turning slightly to kiss Yunho’s hand. The sudden compliments had disoriented him. “And also, Jinhee noona didn’t believe me at all when I showed her your picture. She thought I had just Googled an actor and used his picture at first.”

Yunho almost laughed, then managed to contain it to some giggles. “Oh my God, really?” His gaze lowered to Jaejoong’s lips. “I’m so glad they like me, it’ll make it so much easier when I-” He cut himself off suddenly, flushing.

 _Oh? He doesn’t mean...?_ Jaejoong’s heart skipped a beat. They hadn’t directly touched the topic of marriage, or having kids, just danced around it delicately for the last year or so. It was complicated. Yunho had to move back to Seoul, for one thing.

But Yunho was always so cute when he got shy and flustered, so Jaejoong never missed a chance to prolong it. “Hmm? When you what, Yunho?” Yunho shook his head a little and stayed firm.

“Nope, can’t tell you. I have to do it right, love.” Jaejoong didn’t push him further. It didn’t matter. If by some off chance he was referring to something else, it didn’t matter. Jaejoong would get to propose first, then. He reached out, tracing Yunho’s lips with his index finger. _Oh, teenage Jaejoong… one day, you’re gonna be lying in this very bed with someone, and he’ll be everything you want, and you’ll realize you’re gonna marry him… you don’t believe me, do you? But it’s true…_

Yunho’s eyes had fluttered shut, and Jaejoong did what he’d wanted to do all day. They both sighed at the first kiss, and Yunho pulled him closer. “God, Yunho, you were so stressed,” Jaejoong breathed between kisses, “you bit your lip so much, hold on…” He moved away, reaching for his lip balm. The little container of rose Vaseline was on his nightstand. Yunho made a noise of protest.

“Shhh, the walls are thin,” Jaejoong said, sitting so he was straddling Yunho. He felt Yunho’s breathing go shallow as he gently brushed the balm onto his parted lips. He spread it around a little, knowing going slow always drove Yunho crazy. It was working. Yunho was clenching the sheets, trying to stay still.

“Kiss me, love… please… you _tease_ ,” Yunho whispered against his finger, insistent.

Jaejoong kissed his forehead, then the tip of his nose. When he pressed his lips to Yunho’s, he felt hands slide into his hair. Yunho moaned softly as Jaejoong gently took his bottom lip between his teeth. The taste of his favorite lip balm on Yunho’s lips was exquisite, and Jaejoong kissed him until he felt lightheaded. When he stopped, resting his forehead on Yunho’s, he felt him arch towards him, chasing his mouth. Jaejoong ducked to kiss the long column of his neck instead, pinning one of Yunho’s hands above his head. “You taste so good,” he sighed into the soft skin, eliciting a breathy moan from Yunho.

“Come here, it’s my turn,” Yunho murmured, and Jaejoong rose to meet his tempting red lips. Yunho shifted a little, then suddenly flipped them over, barely breaking the kiss. He kissed Jaejoong so deeply his toes curled, and he moaned Yunho’s name. Yunho whispered, his voice low. “Mmm, say it again.”

Then he kissed the sensitive spot on Jaejoong’s neck until he did.


	8. Proposal

Chapter 9: Proposal

Yunho gulped down his water, trying to calm himself. Funny how this would have been a normal dinner date if not for a small velvet box in his pocket. When he was a child, he had dreamed of proposing after treating his lover to an extremely fancy and expensive restaurant meal. If he had done that tonight, Jaejoong would have immediately known what was happening. Not that he would be so arrogant as to presume that he was about to be proposed to, but he would have figured out something was going on. And Yunho relished the feeling he got when he managed to surprise his hyperaware boyfriend, so he’d decided to go with something else.

Jaejoong had chosen the restaurant tonight, wanting to try a new place. Which of course meant he was currently grading the side dishes, because he took food very seriously. Yunho was pretty sure he would never have to look up reviews for a place Jaejoong had been to. For every food place Jaejoong had been to, even if he’d only visited once, he could remember the menu options, what he thought of them, and how they fared in comparison to others. Yunho watched Jaejoong trying out little bites of food now, looking for all the world like an upper-class food critic.

He couldn’t remember the exact moment he had decided he was going to propose. All he knew was that one day during his summer internship in college, he had started setting aside money for rings. He had told himself it was just in case, or because he missed Jaejoong. But he had started doing it a few weeks into the internship, when the stress had worn off and he was actually having fun and going out with the other interns. When he had realized that no matter if his day had gone well or gone badly, he wanted to talk to Jaejoong about it. Perhaps every day, for the rest of his life. Not just when it was easy because he had good news, or they lived in the same city.

It sounded overly dramatic now, but looking at Jaejoong eating his shrimp, Yunho realized the two years he’d spent living so far away from him may have been the most difficult of his life. They weren’t outright horrible or anything like that. He had made great friends, and he’d settled into his work eventually. But sometimes, he’d see something that reminded him of Jaejoong, and he’d miss him so much it hurt. Then the feeling would sink inside him, and he would wonder whether he was hoping Jaejoong was happy back in Seoul, or that he was missing Yunho at that moment, too.

“Yunho… Yunho?” Jaejoong was saying, waving a shrimp in front of Yunho’s face. He opened his mouth, accepting it, then reached for another one to give to Jaejoong, who was looking at him curiously. “What’re you thinking about?”

Yunho, still mentally in last year, blurted out, “I wrote you so many letters, back then.” Jaejoong blinked, confused. Then Yunho stuck the shrimp in his mouth, and he held his hand in front of mouth, speaking from behind it.

“What are you talking about?” Yunho sighed a little, moving his foot so it bumped Jaejoong’s.

“When I was in Daegu… I missed you so much sometimes. And I knew you were out, or studying, or working… and the feeling would pass anyway. I didn’t want to depress you with it, so I wrote to you. It went on for pages sometimes.”

Jaejoong looked cute when he was shocked. His mouth was slightly open, and he’d gone frozen, his chopsticks held in the air. This was the look Yunho was hoping for in an hour or two, when he pulled out the ring. “I’d listen to the… well, you know which playlist… and I’d pretend I was just sad because of the songs. And when I really missed you… I’d play any video you posted that had your voice in it.” He chuckled. “I bet half the views on any of your insta videos are from me.”

 _It doesn’t hurt now,_ Yunho mused. _We never talked about this back then, but it’s fine now._

They passed the rest of dinner like that, telling each other the absurd things they’d done to survive the distance. Yunho felt like he was trying out-embarrass himself, which made no sense. Why did he want that? But with each story, he could almost hear the words they were really saying. _I love you. No, I love you more._

After dinner, Yunho took Jaejoong’s hand as they walked, feeling the nerves rise up again. Jaejoong was playing their usual game of trying to guess where Yunho was taking him when they stopped in front of the cinema.

“Ah, so are we watching a movie?” Jaejoong asked.

Yunho shook his head. “No, we’re going to the roof.” The cute, puzzled look was back on Jaejoong’s face.

On their first anniversary, Jaejoong had gotten around the fact that most real roses were dead in February by taking them to the LED garden. Yunho had simply stood there in awe, having had no idea such a thing could exist. But now it was June, and Yunho wanted to propose to Jaejoong at sunset, as he stood in the midst of hundreds of real roses. The universe seemed to be on his side, because the sun was just about to set.

He’d always wondered why on earth there was a rose garden on the rooftop of this cinema, but tonight he was really glad there was. He watched a smile light up Jaejoong’s face as he stepped into it. He looked around slowly, then closed his eyes as he inhaled. The sweet scent of the roses was everywhere, and Jaejoong looked so beautiful like this, his face tilted up, eyes closed, the last rays of sunlight highlighting his cheekbones.

“Yunho, it’s so beautiful,” Jaejoong said softly, holding out his hand. Yunho took it automatically, almost forgetting what he’d come here to do.

He brought Jaejoong’s hand to his lips, thinking. “I need to tell you something.” Jaejoong nodded, staying quiet despite the concern creeping onto his face. _Always worrying, you._ “You’re the loveliest person I know. You’re so sweet, petting every dog and cat we come across on the street, spoiling your sisters’ kids, taking care of everyone else… I can’t believe someone as good as you exists. You’re the first person I want to talk to about my day, whether it was good or bad. You’re the one I trust with my problems. I’m in love with you… I’m so in love with you…” He took a deep breath, aware that he was rambling now. “I want you, forever. Your cooking, and your science puns even when I don’t understand them, all your anxieties, I want them to be mine.” He pulled the little Cartier ring box out of his pocket, delighted at how Jaejoong’s jaw dropped when he got on one knee. “Marry me, Kim Jaejoong? Please?”

Jaejoong covered his mouth with both hands. Then he knelt with Yunho, looking from the ring to his face.

“ _Oh._ Oh, my _God._ ” He looked at Yunho, realizing he was waiting for an answer. “Yes, yes, of course I’ll marry you, oh… Yunho…” Then, lost for words, he kissed him.

Yunho kissed back, trying not to drop the ring box. When they parted, he pulled Jaejoong to his feet and kept holding his hand so he could slide the ring on. “It looks so good, love.” Jaejoong laughed quietly.

“It’s so beautiful… it’d look good on anyone. You really… Yunho, you romantic… everything was perfect.”

It really was. And… “I’ll get to call you my husband,” Yunho murmured, his heart still racing.

Jaejoong spoke slowly, still looking at his ring. “Hmm. This is my husband, Yunho.” He bit his lip. “This is the love of my life, Jung Yunho.” He looked up, meeting Yunho’s eyes. “How dare you propose first, Yunho… now I know why my sisters were doing that.”

Yunho wrinkled his nose. Minkyung noona had helped him pick a ring, but there was no way Jaejoong knew that. “Doing what?”

“I kept asking them to come with me to get a ring, and they kept making excuses and saying they were busy.” He shook his head, bemused.

Yunho squeezed his hand, gently turning so that they could go back to walking the garden. People were staring, and it was making him feel a little possessive. “It’s only fair I propose first, by the way. You asked me out first, you said I love you first, you-”

“I didn’t say I love you first!” Jaejoong protested. _Ah, that’s right. I never told him._

Yunho had hoarded this secret for years, not knowing why. He just hadn’t felt the need to tell, and it had never come up. The moment was so precious, something only for him. The only memory he had of the days that followed Jaejoong’s unconscious confession was an overwhelming desire to hear him say the words “I love you” every day. Even back then, he had suspected he would never tire of hearing it. “Yes, you did… when you were sick, and you were falling asleep. You mumbled it into your pillow, I almost didn’t hear it.” Jaejoong blushed.

“I had no idea… I’d known for so long, though,” he chuckled as Yunho’s eyes narrowed. _When did he know? How did he know?_ Then Jaejoong kissed him, long and slow. “Let’s go home, Yunho. Tell me what else you’ve been hiding. God, I love you.”

 _Our home,_ he thought, unable to stop looking at Jaejoong. _Our home, and our kitchen, and our bed… how did I get this lucky?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Daehan cinema sky garden is real too!

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, they've both sang Though I Loved You! Senior discount if you remember what Jaejoong had Yunho's phone number saved as in real life.


End file.
